There is No Effective Alternative to Anti-depressants for the Treatment of Depression!
Anti-depressants are mostly preferred, sought after and used for depression cure. Anti-depressants are available to treat all stages of depression and are easy to use. Besides depression, they are also very helpful in the treatment of panic and anxiety. Hence, it is natural for them to be hot favorites of both doctors and patients. The anti- depressants are so popular that at times, the doctors are pressurized by patients to prescribe these medicines even though they might not require medicines to treat their disorder. However, for a layman, it is hard to decipher whether a person is passing through a phase of sadness or clinical depression. Many a times, it happens that the patient is not suffering from clinical depression but still he opts for anti-depressants in order to obtain quick relief.
Apart from the patients of depression, there are certain other patients who are highly dependant on drugs. Even on getting a sneeze, these patients run to the nearby chemist. As soon as they fall ill, they can’t think of surviving without a pill at their disposal. These are people who are unreasonably dependant on several medicines, namely, allopathic, homeopathic or ayurvedic drugs. More often, patients who are over dependant on medicines prefer the allopathic medicines to obtain quick relief. However, one should remember that excessive dependence on medicines is not at all conducive to a person’s overall health in the long run.
In contrary to these people who can’t imagine life without medicines, there is another section that attempt to avail of cures for their illnesses without falling back on the medicines. These are the people who try their best to keep away from the medicines and cure their illnesses by opting for natural treatments. These are the people who swear by the natural methods and stay away from the allopathic medicines as far as possible. This is obviously a good habit, but unfortunately it does not prove to be effective all the time. For example, in case of serious illnesses like heart attacks, cancer, renal failures etc, there is no other effective alternative to allopathic cure. In spite of the side-effects that mar the reputation of allopathic medicines, they prove to be the only available mode of treatment for certain diseases and in such a situation, there is no other way but to opt for the medication and treatment recommended by the doctor.
Depression is a specific disease that is best tackled by the antidepressants and there seems to be no other cure as effective as allopathic anti-depressants. The popularity of anti-depressants can be gauged from their large-scale distribution over the internet. Xanax is one such anti-depressant that is adequately available in online pharmacies. From an authentic online pharmacy, can buy xanax on prescription. As soon as one moves ahead to buy xanax online, he can avail of significant details on xanax, namely, xanax precaution, the process of xanax withdrawal etc from the website from where he is considering to buy xanax. Depression and various other mental complexities can be treated in the early stages via meditation, listening to music, indulging in hobbies, exercise etc. However, when the depression in a person reaches the advanced stage, these methods of treating depression prove to be of no use at all. In such a situation, there is no other alternative to the antidepressants.
Denzing Jones
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/there-is-no-effective-alternative-to-antidepressants-for-the-treatment-of-depression-421198.html
CBT And NLP For Agoraphobia
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is considered to be extremely effective in helping people to overcome panic disorders, and this can usually be achieved within 8 sessions. I use CBT at my practice in Hertfordshire and have found it very useful in treating agoraphobia, particularly when used in conjunction with a newer cognitive therapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). This article details some of the ways in which CBT and NLP are used during NLP Herts to help clients achieve freedom from agoraphobia.
1. Cognitive Therapy – At NLP and CBT Herts, people are supported to identify and change the distorted thinking patterns that maintain anxiety. Behind panic attacks and anxiety are negative thoughts. These thoughts alone cannot cause anxiety, but the belief that they are true does cause anxiety. The therapist works with the client to reduce belief in such thoughts, this in turn reduces anxiety.
2. Behavioural Therapy – This involves desensitizing your anxiety through gradual exposure to your feared situations. The therapist offers practical support and activities may be carried out in the community, during these sessions.
3. Learning cognitive techniques to beat your panic – clients that come for NLP and CBT Herts are taught specific techniques that can be used and that must be practiced in between sessions. The challenge is using these techniques during times when you are experiencing panic and clients are supported to become competent at this. Of course, once clients are competent they become panic free!
4. Practising – You will get out of therapy what you put in and mastering your panic will involve you carrying out practice in between sessions. Typical practice assignments include keeping a ‘Beating Panic’ Journal’, carrying out practice related to your ‘going out and about’ goal and creating a routine that involves empowering ‘calm’ activities. You will also be required to practice any coping techniques taught to you by the therapist, such as using your anchors (see below).
5. NLP Communication Model – Clients are taught NLP clean language techniques. This means learning to think and communicate with your self in a way that supports being safe, confident, and relaxed.
6. NLP Change Techniques – NLP, which is an understanding of how we code experience in our brain, has a range of techniques, which can be used to reduce or eradicate the intensity of remembered experiences. Its possible to take an unpleasant memory, examine how it is coded and then make changes so that it is no longer unpleasant and the emotion can just drain away. If you suffer from unpleasant memories or fears, an NLP therapist can help you deal with this, via submodality work. These treatments are available from my therapy practice, where I use NLP Herts. You can also learn to be aware of the impact of how you code experience yourself.
7. Anchoring For Emotional Balance – Anchors are naturally occurring associations between an external stimulus and a behavioural or emotional response. They occur because the human mind constantly seeks to make sense of the environment by looking for patterns and associations between things. People learn to make negative associations between things. In the case of agoraphobia this may be associating going for a walk to the corner shop with fear and panic. NLP deliberately makes use of anchors in order to empower people to have control over their emotional states. There are specific NLP techniques in which a stimulus is used to trigger and link an emotional state. The stimulus is usually external and may be a sound or touch. Through these techniques it is possible to for an individual to build up a resource of positive emotional states, which they can access in any situation in which they need them. It is also possible to completely collapse negative anchors so that external stimuli that cause you negative emotional states will no longer be a problem.
These are just some of the ways that NLP and CBT Herts can be effective at empowering people to overcome agoraphobia and other panic disorders.
Karen Hastings, Hertfordshire
http://www.articlesbase.com/medicine-articles/cbt-and-nlp-for-agoraphobia-112685.html
Birthday Gifts From Find-me-a-gift
Birthday Gifts from find-me-a-gift
Find-me-a-gift have a huge range of birthday gifts. Over 1000 birthday gifts to choose from for men women and children.
Below is a range of birthday gifts for men and women
Birthday Presents for Him – Man’s Birthday Present Suggestions
All the best mans birthday presents – all in one place. From humorous birthday present ideas like the Dirty Adventure Kit to gifts for the office such as a hands free phone unit. We even have birthday activity presents that will appeal to all men. For example, the helicopter-flying lesson.
Whatever kind of present you are looking for, Find Me A Gift’s men’s birthday presents range are certain to have something that’s just right for him. Whether you want 30th or 40th birthday presents, or gifts for teens, then Find Me A Gift is the place to be.
Birthday gifts for men – Birthday gifts for him – Birthday gifts for man
Become a Laird from find-me-a-gift
Please note this is a Scottish “Laird” title which is equivalent to the English “Lord” title
Become a Lord (Laird) or Lady when you buy this gift and be the owner of a plot of land on the Kincavel Estate in Sonachan, Scotland, and have legal usage of the title “Laird” (meaning “land owner”). Laird is a title that can be used by men or women but the commonly accepted equivalent for women is “Lady”.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/unusual-gadgets/laird-lord-and-lady-of-the-glen.html
Granny Race Track from find-me-a-gift
Race these old fogies against each other around the track to see whos the super granny or the pit stop pensioner, watch out for the cross over section…bad timing could be nasty and the clip on barriers help prevent the grannies from flying off! These grannies equipped with wheelchair and cosy blanket to keep them warm while they zoom around the track can go fast when they want! So just make sure you keep out of their way!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/granny-race-track.html
Fighting Grandads from find-me-a-gift
In the red corner weighing in at 122g we have the MIGHTY… FIGHTING… GRANDAD!!! In the blue corner we have the challenger.. also weighing in at 122g we have the COLOSSAL…FIGHTING…GRANDAD!!!… In this O.A.P (Offensive Action Punch-up) Battle we will see which fighting grandad has been truly wound up more and which fighting grandad will be left standing to become the champ.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/fighting-grandads.html
Executive Ball Scratcher from find-me-a-gift
The Executive Ball Scratcher is every gentleman’s executive dream. Ball Scratcher’s do the one job that the executive gentleman has to do himself: Scratch their balls!
The Executive Ball Scratcher for Gentlemen has become one of our most surprising bestsellers and we’ve NEVER had anyone wanting to return one!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/personal-gift/executives-ball-scratcher.html
Boob Stress Relievers – Juggling Boobs
The Boob Stress Chest is the brand new improvement on the classic booby stress reliever. Tired hands? Aching wrists? Stressed out? These boobs will gently soothe your body and mind back to chilled out bliss! The Boobs Stress Chest is a perfect antidote to all of the day’s stressful situations as well as providing quick relief for your overworked hands.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/personal-gift/boob-stress-relievers.html
Star Wars Luke Skywalker Lightsaber Force FX Collectable at find-me-a-gift
Winner Of Best Toy Weapon On Channel Five’s ‘ The Gadget Show ‘
These Luke Skywalker FX Lightsabers are from Return of the Jedi (Episode 6) and have a green blade. Master Replicas have now stopped production of them so there is a limited number available, so order now to avoid disappointment.
After Luke was defeated at Bespin, losing his father’s lightsaber in the process, his affinity with the Jedi traditions grows more serious.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/unusual-gadgets/star-wars-luke-skywalker-lightsaber-force-fx-collectable-green-edition.html
Potty Putter from Find-me-a-gift
Introducing Potty Putter! The toilet time golf game that lets you practice your putting while going to the bathroom. If you’re a golfer who can’t get enough practice time, then Potty Putter is for you! Now you can sink putts where no one else has sunk them before – in the bathroom!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/men/potty-putter.html
Finger Drums from find-me-a-gift
Now you can be the ultimate office enemy….. just keep practicing your drum rolls in important meetings…or when someone is trying to pour their heart out to you!! Finger Drums Fingers are used instead of sticks with this superb tiny electronic drum kit.
Each replica drum is touch sensitive and plays a digital drum sound when touched. It even includes a cymbal, and a bass drum with pedal.
The demo mode proves just how effective it can be and, with practice, remarkably musical results can be achieved, and even recorded and played back!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/finger-drums.html
USB Rocket Launcher
The USB rocket launcher gives you the ultimate desk defence system to keep your sweaty, smelly breathed boss away from you to leave you to get on with the important matters of the day, which include anything other than work! The USB rocket launcher holds three rockets and you can control your USB rocket launcher from your computer; rotating and tilting the launcher until you have the enemy in your sights. Then as you hit the fire button the three missiles deploy sequentially. The missiles are made of soft foam so cant do any real damage, which is a shame!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/usb-rocket-launcher.html
Birthday Gifts for women – Birthday gifts for her – Birthday gifts for woman
Aurora Colour Changing Clock from find-me-a-gift
The Aurora clock lives up to its name. Changing between 12 colours only the northern light can compare. It’s just the comforting light you need to dream your away to sleep on a dark night. The clock will colour change between 12 unique colours, one for every hour. It’s easy to read large display is ideal for when you awake with your eyes full of sleep, in the morning. It has a one-touch function for very easy operation. The alarm will flash the Aurora clock and sound the alarm at the same time making sure you wake up.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/aurora-colour-changing-alarm-clock.html
Domestic Goddess Apron – Bib Ava Pink Paris at Find-me-a-gift
Domestic Goddess Aprons are taking the UK by storm. This beautiful Ava Pink Paris Domestic Goddess Apron has been featured on prime time TV such as The Oprah Winfrey Show and Desperate Housewives, as well as in Elle, Country Living, National Enquirer, The Washington Post and even the front cover of the Wall Street Journal!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/domestic-goddess-apron-bib-ava-pink-paris.html
Bubble Bath Machine at find-me-a-gift
Bubbles just got big time! Place the Bubble Bath Machine on the side of your bath and fill up with your favourite bath bubbles and water. Lay back, switch on and watch millions of perfect frothy little bubbles fill up your tub. A must have for people who love a good soak in the tub.
A lovely gift for the person in your life who needs pampering, maybe even yourself! Lie back and relax with our Bubble Bath Machine, sure to make your worries drift away…
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gift-ideas-for-women/personal-gift/bubble-bath-machine.html
Orgasmatron Head Massager at Find-me-a-gift
Orgasmatron Head Massager is truly amazing. It doesn’t look much, some say it looks a little weird but it really does give you surprising sensations. Within seconds it can give you goose bumps, hairs on the back of your neck stand up, your spine tingles and you can feel trance states of ecstasy. The feeling the Orgasmatron head massager gives you is pure excitement. Consider it “exercise for the hairs on the back of your neck. “The Orgasmatron’s smooth tips glide across the surface of your scalp, sending sparkling sensations thru your entire body.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/personal-gift/orgasmatron-head-massager.html
Eye Massager – The Eyezone Massager
Our Eye Massager is brilliant for effective relief from stress, headaches and migraines. As seen on Richard and Judy and developed from Chinese acupuncture, massage and magnetic principles, this 3 in 1 battery powered Eye Massager can help with the following:
Eye Massager alleviates eye fatigue caused by extensive use of computers, long periods of driving, studying and reading.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/personal-gift/eyezone-massager.html
Name a Rose Gift Set at Find-me-a-gift
Name A Rose Gift Set. Name a Rose gift pack is a beautiful gift, which is both touching and unique. Inside the gift box is a unique unnamed pack of rose seeds for recipient to nurture and grow. By filling in the enclosed registration card they can name their rose and have this information stored on the official “Name a Rose” database.
In addition to the rose seeds there is a beautiful rose naming certificate and lots of fascinating information on the world of roses. This gift is perfect for either a great introduction to the world of roses or even a thoughtful gesture to a rose enthusiast.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gift-ideas-for-women/personal-gift/name-a-rose-gift-set.html
Mad Cow Hot Socks at find-me-a-gift
Aroma Cushion – Hot Sox – Mad Cow
These soft, cosy Hot Sox are the perfect way to soothe your tired or cold feet. Pamper yourself or a loved one with these cute 100% cotton Grapefruit and Benzoin scented feet treats!
Not only do Hot Socks keep your toes toasty, they also help to improve your circulation and ease arthritic pain while the essence of Grapefruit and Benzoin relaxes and calms your body and mind. Your feet have never had it so good!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gift-ideas-for-women/personal-gift/aroma-cushion-hot-sox-mad-cow.html
Message in a bottle at find-me-a-gift
The Message in a Bottle is one of the most important gifts we offer. You could buy someone a £1,000,000 diamond ring and still not make it clear what they meant to you. The Message in a Bottle gives you the chance to do exactly that. You’ve got plenty of space to let someone know exactly how you feel, whether it’s a heart-rending love letter or a simple thank you!
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/men/message-in-a-bottle.html
Philips 7″ and 9″ Digital Photo Frame Display at find-me-a-gift
Every picture tells a story…. How many digital pictures are hidden on your PC? See, share and relive your memories with Philips Digital Photo Display, the easiest way to display your digital photos in print quality – without a PC.
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/men/philips-7-inch-digital-photo-frame.html
If you have left it a bit late to buy your gifts? Don’t panic find-me-a-gift offer a next working day delivery if you place your order before 3.30pm.
Www.find-me-a-gift has over 1000 gift and present ideas for men, women & children for any occasion. Click below to see the full range
http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/
Find-me-a-gift
http://www.articlesbase.com/technology-articles/birthday-gifts-from-findmeagift-137225.html
Stressful Conditions And Your Heart.
Medically, it is known that patient with one form of stress or the other is susceptible to heart related problem and consequently sudden death if stress is consistent. Stress, if sudden can make the heart to pump rapidly. This will constrict the arteries shutting off blood flow to the heart. Also emotional stress can result in heart rhythm problem for those whose heart rhythm is irregular. Also, the artery can be clogged due to blood clot. This is because the blood, as a result of stress can get stickers.
Stress, no doubt could have serious effect on the heart. It could so over whelm you that you could just wake in some hospital in an emergency ward having heart attack related cases which may turn out to be stress or anxiety attack. Hearing that it is not attack as you think could bring relief but then you may have to remain in the hospital for some time and this is stress in itself. Also, stress could increase the levels of blood cholesterol and reduce the level of estrogen, which is vital from a woman’s health heart.
Stress, according to findings could result in high-blood pressure. Normally, injures may be sustained in the inner linings of the blood results if the stress is mental and blood pressure is regularly increased. A heightened stress is more prone to high blood pressure. And men are more susceptible to this condition.
Men and women who are highly prone to anger and depression could experience low level of neurotransmitter serotonin. This condition will result in serious damage to the cells of the body, include the cells of the heart low level of serotonin could result in depression, panic and anxiety.
Although, stress can not be completely wipe away but you need to take steps to reduce it if you must live a long and healthy life. If you don’t know exactly what to do to reduce stress, consult your doctor or specialist on such condition and he may assist you on how to manage stress in your life. Do not take stress cases for granted. It could result in death.
Salihu Ibrahim
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/stressful-conditions-and-your-heart-87225.html
Using Exercise To Battle Depression
The last thing most people who suffer from depression want to do is exercise. The dark hole of depression can make even getting out of bed everyday a seemingly impossible task. If you suffer from depression it is imperative that you see your doctor or a therapist first, but don’t be surprised if they prescribe some sort of exercise regimen for you to follow in addition to some of the more normal treatments for depression.
Now as hard as it may seem to get out and start exercising when you are depressed there are some real benefits to be had.
1. Improves your confidence. As you get in better shape you will gain more confidence in yourself and your ability to meet your goals.
2. Increases your self-esteem. Exercise will improve your appearance and your sense of self worth. It will also improve your health and vitality.
3. A distraction. Having a set schedule for your exercise routine, no matter what it is, gives you something to look forward to and can help take your mind off of your problems.
4. Stress relief. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and frustration.
5. Getting out. Exercising allows you to get out and interact with other people, whether at the gym or just greeting people during your nightly walk.
6. Good coping strategy. Exercise is beneficial to anyone who does it. It is a positive way to deal with depression, anxiety or stress because you will benefit in the long run from it.
An important thing to remember is that as hard as it may seem to start exercising when you are depressed is that if you can get started the benefits will far outweigh any negative thoughts you may have about doing it. And once you get going don’t give up. Once you’ve decided to start exercising make sure you don’t over do it. Because nothing will cause you to loose all interest more than a sore and broken body.
Here are some general guidelines to consider before you start your exercise program.
1. Talk to your doctor or therapist first. They can help guide you and refer you to someone who can help you set up an exercise program that’s right for you.
2. Set simple goals. Exercise should be fun and make you feel good. Don’t approach it like you are training for the Olympics. Start easy and build from there.
3. Go with what you enjoy. If you have worked out in the past and enjoyed what you were doing start with that again. For some people just simply going for a walk is enjoyable for them.
4. Find a workout buddy. Exercising with a friend is great for helping lift your mood. It gives you someone to talk to and enjoy your work-out with.
5. Go outside. Getting out in the fresh air and sun is always a good way to improve your mood. Even if you work-out in a gym, take the time to go for a walks a couple of times a week.
6. Don’t let set backs get you down. Some days you may not be able to get in your exercise. Don’t let that bother you, it happens to everyone. Keep at it and you will see your growth.
Using exercise as a treatment for depression is a growing trend. But you should always consult your doctor or therapist if you are feeling depressed or exhibit the symptoms of depression. Embarking on an exercise program on your own is not the right thing to do. It should be used in conjunction with other treatments such as medication and therapy. Taken together with these other therapies, exercise can be a great way to help battle your depression.
Andrew Bicknell
http://www.articlesbase.com/non-fiction-articles/using-exercise-to-battle-depression-124125.html
Coping With The Symptoms Of A Hot Flash
With any hot flash the symptoms may vary, but they all include one major component – heat. Although no one can pinpoint exactly what causes a hot flash, most agree that a hormonal imbalance makes your body think it is overheating causing your blood vessels to open and pump more blood to cool your body down. This is what actually causes the symptoms of a hot flash.
Some women agree that they can feel the symptoms of a hot flash coming on by having an uneasy feeling, or a feeling of anxiety. The flash is just that, a sudden feeling of intense heat. It will start around your waist area and move up quickly to your upper body and face. You will start to perspire and your face can become quite red and flushed looking. You may start to experience nausea, dizziness, instant headaches, weakness, or even a feeling of suffocation. Unfortunately this is all normal, and it will pass eventually, usually in about 2 to 5 minutes, but it can last as long as 30 minutes.
Symptoms of a hot flash also include rapid heartbeat and the feeling of anxiety. This may make you perspire even more than you usually would because of the overwhelming emotion that it provokes in your brain. The amount of sweat also depends on any medication you may be taking, your diet, and the stage of menopause you are in. Some people barely get a glisten on their upper lip, and others look as if they have run 10 miles. The perspiration will soon cool down. Depending on how much you exuded you will suddenly feel very cold and chilled. The rapid chills will last until you essentially dry your body of any left over perspiration.
Although up to 85% of women have symptoms of hot flashes during perimenopause and menopause, only about 10% to 15% actually have them so badly that they need medication. This isn’t to say that you can’t change the frequency or levels of your symptoms. You can do so easily by changing your diet, eliminating alcohol and tobacco, exercising, and doing breathing and relaxation techniques. This will all help to make it a more tolerable experience and to relieve some of the anxiety you have when suffering the symptoms of hot flashes.
Linda Bruton
http://www.articlesbase.com/women’s-issues-articles/coping-with-the-symptoms-of-a-hot-flash-85997.html
Are You Sick of Your Life With Financial Stress?
Dealing with financial issues is a common experience for most people. Indeed, most people do not earn enough to financially provide for the family’s needs. Therefore, clearly identifying your choices as to which ones you need to include in the family budget is of utmost importance. In fact, handling personal finances has been a cause of major stress for some individuals and families.
Dealing with Financial Stress
Stress over personal and family finances has been a part of day-to-day living. After all, almost everything involved in one’s everyday life involves handling finances in some sort. Dealing with finances alone is quite stressful, but it becomes more difficult if you are experiencing financial crisis.
When this happens, you lose control over your finances and making both ends meet nearly becomes impossible. Add to that a few other unexpected scenarios that could further ruin your financial standing. Unless you do something about it, you will not be able to eliminate that stress.
Your first step towards dealing and fixing financial stress or crisis is to get rid of any source of stress. Living with stress is generally unhealthy. Especially when it comes to money matters, there is tremendous pressure since it is a valuable resource that you need to survive daily living.
Understanding The Root of the Problem
There are several reasons that could lead to financial stress such as losing your job, poor financial management and planning, overwhelming debts, and many more. Even tiny and seemingly unnoticeable gaps in your finances can lead to major financial risks. What is more threatening about experiencing financial trouble does not involve money itself – going through financial difficulties cause anxiety, stress, fear, or panic. This will then go on a vicious cycle and creates a negative disposition.
Therefore, it is important for you to recognize what actually causes this tremendous level of stress. Getting to the root of your problem will enable you to formulate ways to reverse your situation. Most people become too overwhelmed with their current financial distress that they fail to consider any existing factors that could help alleviate their condition. It is all about being able to cope and the sooner you understand what must be done, the sooner you can get out of that financial slumber.
Are You Suffering from Financial Stress?
Since it has become such a common scenario, many people do not even realize that they are already suffering from financial stress. They create this idea that families with limited income typically go through that phase. However, you need to realize that even with minimal budget, you can possibly come up with a specific financial plan that will suffice for your family’s needs. It is all about coming up with a flexible financial budget.
Here are crucial signs that tell you are suffering financial stress and must do something about it:
*It is impossible to meet all your necessary financial obligations, thus you can’t even make both paychecks meet.
*Not having to clearly track all your accounts, expenditures, and the flow of cash.
*Failing to attend to important financial needs such as securing insurances due to lack of money.
*Lack of preparedness for the future since you are mostly concerned about surviving for today.
*Constant worry about important bills.
*Increased level of anxiety when it comes to discussing money matters.
Debt Relief
After realizing what the source of your financial problems is, your next step is to find ways to eliminate any source of debts or causes of financial risks. Since debt is one of the major causes of financial problems, you need to look for ways to help you get rid of debt burden and be on your way to financial relief.
One option for you is to avail of debt consolidation services. This type of services will enable you to roll all of your pending debts into one to make handling your debts more manageable. When you have multiple debts that you need to settle monthly payments for, it most often eats up most of your monthly budget. Therefore, you end up running short of your finances. With debt consolidation, you can reduce your monthly payment into a single payment plan and you’d have more budget left for your other needs.
You also need to practice self-discipline in order to ensure prompt payment for your debts. As soon as you receive your paycheck, promptly send out your payments so you can allocate the rest for your other expenses.
Steps Towards Better Finances
The good thing about financial stress is that there are ways to resolve your problems. Here are tips you can try:
*Set specific short- and long-term financial goals.
*Create a sound financial budget plan. If possible, list down all of your monthly expenses to identify whether you can afford to buy something or not.
*Find debt relief measures or seek help from debt counselors.
*Cut down on your expenses. Moreover, avoid impulsive buying.
*Identify your ‘wants’ from your ‘needs’.
Diamond Kiang
http://www.articlesbase.com/wealth-building-articles/are-you-sick-of-your-life-with-financial-stress-705293.html
Day Traders Afraid of Pulling the Trigger?
Afraid of Pulling the Day Trading Trigger?
Fear…implies anxiety and usually the loss of courage. This definition of fear is useful in helping define the issues that traders face when coping with fear.
All traders have fear, but winning traders manage their fear while losers are controlled by it.
Winners take positive action in spite of their fears.
Fear of loss tends to make a trader hesitant to execute his trading plan. This can often lead to an inability to pull the trigger on new entries.
When fear of loss holds you back from taking action, you also lose confidence in your ability to execute your trading plan. This causes a lack of trust in your method as well as in your own ability to execute future trades.
You can see how fear can set in place a vicious cycle of recurring doubt and, in turn, reinforce a traders’ lack of confidence in executing new positions.
Thus begins the analysis paralysis, where you are merely looking at new trades but not getting the proper reinforcement to pull the trigger. In fact, the reinforcement is negative and actually pulls you away from making a move.
In poker lingual…. you can’t win what you don’t put in the pot. You can be the tightest player in the world. You won’t lose any money. But you definitely won’t make any money.
Our minds automatically avoid pain for pleasure. This is how our brain is programmed. New traders who have the trouble of pulling the trigger associate a trade with a potential loss that can cause financial or emotional pain.
Do you imagine taking the trade and never pulling the trigger? Are you right on your analysis but are unable to execute just to watch the markets runaway from you? The biggest conflict that is causing this is your belief in pain.
This may be caused by your pain for loss or your need to be right. The need to be right is associated with the need to be perfect every time. If you are a perfectionist there is a conflicting belief that you must eliminate to trade successfully. Perfectionists believe that there is a “correct way” and a “wrong way”. Taking a loss is considered the wrong way to them. Trading is a game of probability. And it is not about being wrong or right. It is about making money.
You must get used to dealing with uncertainty. There is no exact science in trading and nothing can be predicted in advance. However, with enough experience in the markets you will be able to smell market weakness from market strength.
For those who are having trouble taking losses, you are overweighing the loss. If you know your risk parameters there should be no problem taking a trade. Perhaps you are not confident in your own trading methodologies. Have you tested your setups? If you have a strategy that is 70% profitable, take the trade. Once again trading is a game of probabilities. If you have a proven setup with strict money management, you will be profitable. Have faith in your methods.
When you’re having trouble pulling the trigger, realize that you are worrying too much about results and are not focused on your execution process.
For some people they are unaware that the markets they are trading does not fit their personality. If you like a slow market you should stay away from the S&P. Trade corn instead. Know your personality and find the market that suits you. This is one mistake a lot of traders make. Thus, trading is not only about understanding the markets. It requires self-understanding as well.
If you have a perfectionist mentality when trading, you are really setting yourself up for failure, because it is a given that you will experience losses along the way in trading. Again, you have to think of trading as a probability game. You can’t be a perfectionist and expect to be a great trader. The objective should be excellence in trading, not perfection.
You will be better off seeing trading as a series of opportunities. and your task is to create a plan that finds opportunities with potential rewards that are several times greater than the risks you incur.
Setups will never be perfect, and that’s okay, as long as you exit trades when things don’t go your way.
Use a clearly-defined set of entries and trade them exclusively. A lack of disciplined entries brings fear. Have confidence in your entries and trade them exclusively and give them time to earn your confidence.
Remember this, it’s better to trade a set of mediocre entries with discipline and great exits than to trade excellent entries without discipline and first-rate exits. Changing your entries continually, tinkering with them, wasting time and money hunting perfect entries, will never give you confidence.
There are no perfect entry strategies
Consider trading smaller positions to get the fear of losing out of your system and get yourself focused on execution.
And to conclude:
Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.
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Linda Wainman
http://www.articlesbase.com/finance-articles/day-traders-afraid-of-pulling-the-trigger-64550.html
A Week in the Life of the Single Working Mother
A Week in the Life of the Single, Working Mother
“It’s ok,” you think. “Nothing to worry about, really!” I mean who doesn’t occasionally put their panties on inside out? It can happen! The cottage is relatively dark in the morning and the bathroom has no light in it, so even if you went to the toilet you wouldn’t have noticed. No problem there. But then you go to the bathroom at work for the umpteenth time in the morning (you suffer from a weak bladder) and only then do you notice, staring back at you from the mirror, a moron who is wearing two different types of earrings! Not two similar earrings, that may be understandable, but two totally different decorations. “Are those warning bells?” I think, listening intently. “Or is that just the sound of me losing my mind”. I stride back into the office, laughing – you must do this in these situations - and tell everyone the story. It’s funny, really, I mean, who doesn’t occasionally put two different earrings in their lobes?
All might have been well if I hadn’t remembered the keys! “Try to forget the key story!” I tell myself. But no, a nagging imp-like, pest of a voice insists that I remember the keys. So, warily I cast my mind back to this morning’s debacle. On leaving the cottage this morning, I absolutely know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I looked at the keys on their hook. I removed them from said hook and walked up to my car with three of my four children. Imagine my frustration and absolute impatience (I’m very impatient with ineptitude), when I couldn’t find the keys. This followed having to squeeze into my car (it was parked too close to my brother’s car), loaded with bags, trying to balance on my high heels that kept sinking into the soft earth. The keys! I just could’nt find the blasted things! We all looked, all four of us, while I muttered all the while that I definitely took them off the hook. Jarred, my nineteen year old, decided, very quietly, not to believe me, and wandered off to the cottage. He reappeared shortly after, keys in hand. Had I dropped them on the way? Did I put them down after picking them up? No, nothing that simple. I was flabbergasted to discover that they were still, in fact, hanging on the hook. Those damned fairies. Jarred knew better than to comment.
My doctor says I’m stressed. My therapist says “Duh”! So, I decided that I would look at a week in my life and try to discover if I am indeed stressed, tired, overworked and hence abnormally distracted!
A week! How do you determine a week? My life seems to run from one chaotic moment to the next, forming hours, days, weeks and years. My absent-mindedness began on a Friday so I decided to capture my week beginning with the previous Sunday.
This week began relatively normally on Sunday evening when my eleven year old realized that he hadn’t completed his project that had been due for the previous Thursday. Nothing too complicated, just a moving greeting card! No need to panic, especially as he also had to look for every letter of the alphabet (in differing fonts and sizes), and stick them onto a piece of paper. Ok, so I panic a little! Who wouldn’t? Try finding a “Q” or a “J”. The card is cut out, his cricket players look like aliens and the family is in fits of laughter while my seven year old daughter draws something of a Rembrandt version of his picture (she is very bright). He doesn’t mind, just shrugs and continues to be glued to the TV, while I bellow, “Homework! Vincent, your homework!”
This situation could, in itself, be bearable but for that fact that it is happening at 6.30pm. This is the beginning of hell night. It is bath time accompanied by more bellows, “Get in the bath! Vincent, bath water! Katie, GET IN THE BATH!” It is school lunch time, but more on that later. It is uniform preparation time and goodness knows what else. There is always something of great significance that pops up out of nowhere to cause chaos and disorder. There is also supper. After a huge lunch of prawns and rice the little angels are hungry. I’m not hungry! So I throw chicken pieces, covered with tinned tomatoes into the oven and put on a pot of rice. I am functioning on three planes. My friend is there for a visit with biscuits, dips and wine – very sophisticated, my kids are between nakedness and pyjamas – very bohemian, my food is slowly overcooking and I am trying to engineer a moving cricket bat that will hit a ball across a card. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned, there is absolutely no need to panic – much! The kids end up going to bed halfway through the E-TV movie which, of course, is too late! I am a failure of a mother!
By 9.30pm, school uniforms are ready, hanging over chairs but sandwiches must be made. I usually make amazing lunches but tonight there is no bread. If there was bread there would be no filling. I am, however, supermom, and I have a plan! Tuckshop! Godsend! Tomorrow I will make that new sandwich filling : sweet corn, tuna and mayonnaise. The kids are already moaning about that one. I tell them that they have to broaden their horizons! Then I get “make us an extra sandwich, in case we don’t like that one”. My kids, the connoisseurs! Tuna – not good enough. Ham – only fine alone, no mayonnaise or, for Katie and Jarred, with mustard. Vince wants salami, no mayonnaise. I tried pilchards and cucumber. My little ones tried to be kind saying, “Mom, we didn’t really like the lunch today”. Jarred said it was wonderful but he that he couldn’t take it to Varsity anymore because : “It STINKS!” How subtle! One day they love chocolate spread, the next they don’t. One of them, can’t remember which, hates cheese spread but my twenty-two year old could live on it. One loves peanut butter, the other shudders at the thought. The only thing I seem to get spot on are the chocolates and sweets that I provide. Jarred won’t eat those though! He’s trying to diet!
Monday morning dawns and I have to drag myself out of bed at 6.30 after I’ve changed the alarm setting twice. I realize that I’m playing with fire as Jarred must be at University by eight and we have to drop the little ones off first. He will be furious if he realizes how late we got up. Little ones don uniforms (this takes about half an hour – no idea why), with me shouting about how they should stop dawdling and have breakfast. Needless to say, they suck down their cocoa pops while big brother rants about how late he’s going to be. I decide that I can’t possible make it to work. My neck is in agony, I am exhausted and constipated and signs of haemorrhoids are beginning to emerge. My boss will spontaneously combust as she has told me that today I am getting a written warning for a mistake made on Friday. Could my physical symptoms be psychosomatic or am I merely skirting the threshold of severe and irreversible stress? I phone the office, make excuses to my colleague (it’s easier) and go to bed, after telephoning the doctor to make an appointment for my daughter and myself. Katie has been getting waves of extreme tiredness and I’m really worried. It’s never anything curable, when it’s your child, is it? The mind of a mother is a very frightening place sometimes.
Monday wears on. I fetch Katie and her friend from school at 1.00pm. We go home, relax a bit, read and I smoke hubbly bubbly, (it relaxes me, ok!). She has raided my purse because she wants a pie for lunch. I have no money save R40 in the car for petrol! Jarred has my card. Three fifteen p.m. and it’s time to fetch Vincent from cricket (back to the school I left two hours previously). I give in and buy two pies and put twenty rand petrol into my car. We pick up Vincent, nearly get hit by a stray cricket ball and head off to the doctor for our 4.00pm appointment. The fun has just begun! Kaitlyn must have a blood test. Have you ever tried to hold down a ten foot, rabid, thrashing and peculiarly terrified Anaconda? I’m sure not but I think it would be a breeze! It would certainly be easier than holding down a terrified, stubborn, bucking bronco of a seven year old. I won’t go into detail – it’s far too traumatic – but it played out like a scene from a Tarantino movie. Three adults (all in various phases of shock) holding down a tiny child whilst one of the adults sticks a 10cm thick, 1 metre long needle into her arm and proceeds to suck all the blood from her body. She, all the while, screaming “Mommy! Mommy! Please!”. I tell you, if you have never felt like a heel before and have an odd desire to do so, I fully recommend this as the way to go about it.
In the midst of the screaming chaos, Jarred phones. “You can fetch me now”, he says nonchalantly. The little pulsing blood vessel in my temple seems to explode as I explain as calmly as possible, why he has to wait. Meanwhile, Vincent has disappeared to the toilet in the front of the doctor’s rooms. He does not emerge until the screaming, from the far end of the building has subsided! Once the torture is over, she is shaken but laughs as I joke about how strong she is and how hard she can kick. She is not the only one trembling. The doctor grins nervously at me saying that he knows it seems barbaric, but honestly, it has to be done. Then he rushes from the room. The nurse just fumbles for words and I sit there hugging my daughter until my heart decides to return to my chest.
It is now five o’clock and Jarred is waiting at the University in Parktown. I rush off, still shaken but trying to play it down and make jokes. Katie sits unusually quietly on the back seat. I hardly notice the hellish traffic, I can handle anything after the past hour. We get to Jarred and he, very foolishly, says : “Why do you make appointments at five when you know you’re fetching me?” Is it really necessary to explain or will my feral death stare suffice. It does! Katie revives and excitedly tells Jarred about her nightmare experience. In record time it becomes an adventure and by Wednesday I will be relieved to know that my baby is doing well and that she probably just has worms.
In the blur that is my life I make supper, get the children bathed, eat, sort out homework, uniforms and sandwiches. The ex-husband telephones the children and says something inane to Katie like : “If you go to bed early you won’t be so tired and need blood tests.” Although I contemplate smashing the cell phone against the wall, I realize that it is mine and so I pour myself another glass of wine! The quiet breathing of my sleeping children, the studious attitude of my middle son, and the comings and goings of my eldest make it all worthwhile – most of the time! Thank God Monday is over.
Tuesday begins much the same way with me pulling my comatose body from the sleeper couch (don’t ask). Today there is a cricket match for Vincent (he finishes at about 5.00), and netball and P.E. for Katie. I am organized. All is well. The usual shouting routine ensues in a fast-forward blur and I appear, miraculously, at work. I am angry and defensive due to the fact that when my friend called for me at work on Monday, my boss told him that I was scared to come to work. Scared? Of work? I’m waiting for blood test results, if you really want to know what fear is! I am called into the “big boss’s” office. I am given the poor work performance lecture and am prepared to receive my letter of warning. I decide to completely ignore my boss – dislike her right now – pull myself together and try even harder at work. I am so happy when my friend calls and says that I don’t have to do lift scheme and that Kate can play with “Scarlie” today. A breather! Jarred, however, finishes early so I have to take him home and come back to work. What is it they say about no rest?
After work I fetch Katie from Scarlet (where she did her homework – whoopee) and Vincent from cricket. I finally get the kids into the bath while I cook supper in the house (again, don’t ask). It’s a rather difficult task as I have to keep running back to the cottage for the ingredients that I have forgotten. I try to do this really quietly because if the bathing darlings hear me, I am yelled for. This usually happens when I’ve made it into the cottage undetected and am halfway back to the house, thinking how cleverly I have eluded them. The word, “MOM”, uttered very loudly, causes me to stop dead in my tracks. Like a secret agent I attempt to melt into my surroundings. I become very quiet, I tip-toe up the stairs and into the kitchen. Made it! They soon forget that they have called me and I am congratulating myself when a raucous cacophony emerges from the bathroom and the air is filled with shouting and wailing.
“Jarred!” I scream, “For goodness sake, sort them out!”
They are fearful of him until he turns his back and then Katie begins to sob and gesticulate hysterically. It appears that Vincent has ‘accidentally’ wee’d in the bath and then, just as ‘accidentally’, has splashed all the wee-filled water all over her. All fear of terminal illnesses vacate my mind as I threaten to drown the children in the bath. My yells of “GET OUT! PUT NEW WATER IN,” to Vincent are heard blocks away while Katie adamantly refuses to get back in the bath with him and wanders around sopping wet and wrapped in a towel.
I somehow make it through the evening, tidying my cottage, packing my mom’s dishwasher with my dishes and watching that Vincent completes his homework. All memory of long division has long since been erased and I battle to help him with his maths homework. I quickly pack Katie’s ballet clothes – where the hell are those character shoes – and convince her that, because the shoes are too small, I will get her new ones.
“Feel where my toe is,” she says convincingly to me.
Vincent has P.E tomorrow, so does Katie, but he refuses to wear a Speedo and so I must pack him some long shorts. While I fully applaud his fashion sense, I doubt that the school will believe his excuses for much longer. I sigh when, miraculously, the atmosphere is infused with the even breathing of sleeping cherubs. I am just relaxing into a wine-induced oblivion (of course I’m exaggerating) when Gary, my eldest grabs on to my security gate from outside shouting, “Mom, Mom, hurry, open up! Quickly! Hurry!” My heart leaps into my throat. Someone is dead? Someone is chasing him? It’s obvious that something truly horrible has happened”.
“What is it? I somehow blurt out.
“Hurry! Open up! It’s Prison Break”.
How I’ve actually made it to Wednesday is beyond me. Perhaps it’s those “happy pills”, maybe the fact that I’m eating better, or more likely, I am simply functioning on auto-pilot. Things go relatively smoothly this morning. I think I’m used to the chaos and I arrive at work only to realize that I must go shopping to cater for the afternoon meeting. My boss is subjected to grunts, nods and head shakes from me as I refuse to be civil to her. I do a few things in the office and then head off to the shop to buy the eats. Today is not my lift scheme day and I look forward to a nice quiet lunch with my colleague from my previous job. It’s really nice and I get back to work relaxed after a glass of wine and a tramezini. I have a few invitations for the evening (kids are out Wednesday evening with their dad), but I decide to stay home and do my ironing that has been building up for weeks. I buy myself a bottle of wine, make no supper because I’ve eaten and sit down with a magazine on a chair that I hardly move from for the entire evening. Jarred sits with me doing his homework. I help him because it’s English and I’m not bad at it. When I look for the wine I realize that I left it in my car, which Gary has taken. I sigh! I will have it at 7.30 when he gets home and hubbly will do in the meantime. I make sandwiches at the table and sort out school clothes. Needless to say, I do absolutely no ironing and have a glass of wine at 7.30. I continue to do the Sudoku that I have been doing the whole evening. Vincent and Katie get home at 8.00 and I have to rush them through a bath and then homework. In bed late again! Jarred then begins to play guitar and make up a song about the politics of the country. I am excited and write down the words. Katie and Vincent listen from their beds. By bed-time I’ve had about three glass of wine and am sleepy. Uncharacterisically, as I lie down the room begins to spin, and spin, and spin! I end up sick in the bathroom and fall asleep almost immediately. What an end to my night of semi-solitude. They say, those very wise “they” people, that alcohol affects you more when you’re stressed. I wonder….! It’s a damn good excuse though.
I am pretty sure that I don’t have to mention that the vacating of my bed on Thursday morning is no easy task. I do, however, succeed! Today we leave with only school bags. No tog bags, no cricket bats, no tackies, no ballet things, no extras at all. I feel free, wild – nothing to forget. The euphoria is intoxicating. This must be Heaven. I am even energized to go grocery shopping this evening. My friend says that she is free this evening. She asks if we should get together. Frankly the idea of wine or any other alcoholic drink, after last night, induces fear and trembling. I decline. Work is quiet as I continue to ignore my boss and 2.00 pm brings about my usual lift scheme. I drop the little ones off, practically begging them to tidy the cottage and go back to work. I don’t recall this but they say that I told them they could go shopping with me if they tidied up. At about 4.00pm Jarred arrives at the office and I take him home. I have since decided that I should shop alone, leaving the little ones at home with Jarred to bath and do homework. The outcry that results from this suggestion to Vin and Kate is something I am not qualified to deal with. I deflate and collapse into my car seat and meekly say, “get in”. They inform me that they “even cleaned the cottage”, in order to be able to go.
Shopping to me is a sadistic ritual. I cannot comprehend those perverse individuals who actually enjoy the dreaded ordeal. Add on two children who want everything in sight and who, after pleading to accompany me, want to go home after half an hour. Include fist-fights, sibling verbal abuse and disappearances every five minutes for free samples, and the whole thing intensifies ten-fold. I arrive at the shop at about 5.00 pm and get home by 7.30. I am comforted by a well-meaning woman who tells me that my two fighting little maniacs are completely normal. This is after she hears me yelling hysterically at them to “STOP IT!” and “I TOLD YOU TO STAY AT HOME”, accompanied by several other expletives. I tell her that I’ve had to go through it twice, having two older sons as well, and that I must have done something particularly evil in a previous incarnation. She tells me that I look too young to have two older sons and I almost kiss her. I feel haggard and worn, but decide to preserve the tiny morsel of dignity that I have left.
I arrive home in the dark with two tired children who have not as yet bathed or, horror of horrors, done homework. Supper is no problem. MacDonalds, I love you! The cottage is in a dismal condition and if they had indeed tidied it up, a hurricane has since swept through it. I try to tidy while Jarred brings a few shopping bags from the car. We eat and Katie takes ages to finish her food while I jump around uneasily trying not to think of bathing and homework. Vincent gets stomach ache and needs the toilet but can’t find matches for the candle that has replaced the broken light bulb. He eventually decides he has to go in the dark but five minutes later is wandering around bare-bummed looking for a torch! Jarred is ranting about how unfair it is because no-one will help him unpack the car and I am cleaning, packing away groceries and emptying the garbage bin, while yelling at Vincent to get back into the pitch black bathroom and onto the toilet. Katie, meanwhile continues to eat at two chews per minute and Xena, my Doberman, runs in and eats Vincent’s burger! Thank goodness Katie has two burgers, having got the special in case Gary is home for supper. This extra one is given to Vincent. When I remind my daughter that she is taking an abnormally long time to eat she throws down her burger saying, “Fine, I will starve”. This results in me telling her what a “princess” she is!
Add to this chaotic evening the fact that there is a really young and persistent man that I know who keeps phoning me at the most inconvenient times and you have the makings of a true farce. I kid you not, to the delight and bemusement of my children he phoned and let it ring for a full seven minutes. They, and I, were absolutely amazed. My little ones know all the excuses in the book now when he calls, but this time we just let it ring – our amusement for the evening.
Eventually, eventually, eventually clean, educated and well-fed children are lying in their beds. Unfortunately there is some good stuff on T.V. and the little darlings keep peeking at the screen. Death stare time! Eyes shut! And peace reigns supreme.
Friday, FRIday, FriDAY! Happy days! It’s Friday!!!! I have made it. We have made it. We are breathing and relatively sane. One more day to get through. Should be a breeze. And all appears to be fine but looks can be deceiving. I am organized! I am Supermom! Katie’s ballet clothes are ready, lunches are packed into cases and it’s time to go. But dizzyingly quickly we return to the Friday day I lost my mind! The keys, the panties, the earrings – all effects lasting temporarily however. My initial horror gives way to amazement as I realize that my distractedness appears to have come along with a burst of genius. I have managed, quite extraordinarily, to work out how to put seven separate documents onto one document on Excel. This involves a lot of copying, pasting, (making small), renaming and finally coming out with a whole new document. I am so impressed with myself that I forget to sulk and run to my boss to tell her how wonderful I am. She agrees that I am very clever and I see no reason to continue the argument.
After the initial shock of all my weird activities of the morning, I begin to feel relatively relaxed. Katie has ballet and so does her friend, so the other half of the lift scheme does the lifts today. I do, however, still have to take Jarred home. This changes when he telephones to say that the pub at Education Campus is opening today and he will come over later, probably around three. This all seems fine until my boss, whom I have just made friends with, decides that we can go home early – at three. I try to call Jarred. Surprise, surprise – his phone is off. I have to wait. I can’t very well go storming into the pub to yank him out. In the meantime his older brother calls. I must meet him at home and then take him to Vodacom to sign for his new SIM card. The problem is we must do this by 5.00 as the shop will probably close. The other problem is that I have no idea what time Jarred will put in an appearance. Gary laughs hysterically when he hears the situation, telling me that I’ve got a long wait ahead of me. I little while later the little ones call me at work to ask if they can make me a surprise from their recipe book. I agree to this asking, as nicely as possible, that they clean up after themselves. At about 3.30 Gary phones, asking where I am and Jarred eventually arrives at four o’clock. At four fifteen Katie calls, asking how far I am from home because the surprise is waiting. I drop Jarred at home and Gary takes his place in the car. Katie runs out asking where I’m going and saying that the surprise is ready. I assure her that I will not be long. We get to Vodacom, sign the papers and are told that it will cost R65.00. Gary and I look at each other incredulously. Neither of us has money on us. He decides to drop me at home, as I’m really anxious to have my surprise before the babies’ dad fetches them for the weekend. Gary will fetch my bank-card and go and pay the account. Miraculously we find the card in the car. At home I have a sosatie stick with strawberries, pineapple, banana and dates (because I have given up chocolate for lent) waiting for me on a plate with ice-cream and custard. Children have an amazing way of erasing a week of stress in an instant, by a simple gesture of love so pure that it melts your insides and touches you to the very core of your being!
Reality, however, has a nasty way of intruding on the most special of moments. My friend arrives to take me for dinner but my ex has not yet collected the children. The place is unbelievably noisy. There is a ridiculous modern musical blasting from the television and Jarred is showing everyone his political song. The atmosphere is mildly crazy but very enjoyable. The ex hoots at the gate for the little ones. Unfortunately at this precise moment my father and brother decide to have a very heated altercation. I do not want my children’s father to hear or see anything about the argument (long story) so I rush the children out as soon as possible. It is a scene from a black comedy. The more I tell them that they must leave quickly, the more times they return to fetch something that they have forgotten. It is unbelievable! Finally they leave and I breathe a sigh of relief. My eldest son’s girlfriend has been ushered into the cottage to escape the argument inside. My friend and I leave, I tell Jarred where to hide the keys and I, naively, believe that I am due for a quiet and peaceful weekend.
Dinner is uneventful except for when I go to the bathroom, get confused with the doors and end up exiting the ladies and entering a sushi restaurant that I hadn’t been eating at. After the initial confusion, I make a hasty retreat and find my friend outside, waiting for me. While on my way to the bathroom I discover that Jarred has called me twenty-two times and I have finally heard the phone on the twenty- third try. He tells me that there is trouble at home and on top of this he has dropped my cottage keys into the cottage and cannot get them out. My friend and I end up getting into the cottage by unscrewing one of the security gates, at the same time releasing my Doberman who has been prisoner in the cottage for goodness knows how long. In the meantime I go to find my brother who has passed out in the garden and attempt to help him. The rest is a long, involved and futile story and is best ignored and forgotten.
My peaceful Friday ends and I fall into bed and into a deep sleep.
I have big plans for Saturday. I am going to get myself out of debt. I will get up relatively late, go to the bank and draw the money. I will then pay off my clothing accounts, my T.V. and buy my daughter and my friend their birthday presents. I have, however, discovered that in life that you should never plan anything. Go with the flow. That way you can never be irritated! This I have discovered but unfortunately I have never actually learnt from it.
I arrive at the bank. None of the banks at the mall have electricity. I swear, various expletives, under my breath and head off to the other mall. I think that I am very clever but at the same time have a sense of foreboding about what I will find at that bank. I am astounded beyond my normal ability to be astounded! The queues begin at the tellers inside the bank (far, far inside the bank), out the door and all the way down to Woollworths, which is about half a city block away. All the other banks have the same problem. I mutter some more swear words, this time including some obscenities about the state of the country and decide on retail therapy, which I most certainly cannot afford. I head home, make a hubbly (yes, again) and tidy my flat. I am busy with this when my brother’s weird girlfriend starts yelling out my name. Jarred is amazed to see me hurl myself across the room, jump out of my shoes and fling myself onto Katie’s bed, at the same time begging him to tell her that I’m asleep. I close my eyes tightly, praying that she won’t come in. Jarred, the horror, lets me lie like that for a few minutes, choosing not to tell me that she is gone. I continue to hide for awhile then poor myself a glass of wine (yes, again), put on a load of washing, set up the ironing board and complete all my outstanding ironing. I am Superwoman! I am Wonder Woman! I am Mother! I put washing on the line and it rains! I am Exceedingly Irritated Woman.
I, being so damn popular, have three invitations for Saturday evening. My haemorrhoids are agonizing at this stage and I decide I cannot go to the braai. I also don’t feel like visiting the young obsessive phone caller. I decide to surprise my friend and go to him to watch a DVD. The evening is uneventful except for the fact that my eldest son keeps phoning me to yell about how unfair it is that he has to lift my middle son to a party. He rants about how far it is and how it’s unfair to use his girlfriend’s car. At about ten o’clock I go home and sit with Gary in the cottage until he leaves to fetch his girlfriend. I bath and, exhausted, climb into bed. The cell rings at 12.30. That dreaded call that will inform me that Jarred cannot get a lift home and I must fetch him. I am half asleep and ask Jarred to call me back with directions. Gary calls and tells me where to go. I put my dog in the car – she is astounded (as astounded as a dog can be) and we head off into the unknown, with a set of directions on my lap. I am in some God-forsaken place in the middle of the night but I eventually find the place after a few more phone calls to Gary. I find the street but not the number. There is no number eighteen. Fortunately I am not alone in my stupidity as the taxi driver who has just arrived is also driving up and down the road in search of number eighteen. I find it, eventually, around the corner – something that must have slipped the minds of both my sons. I then spend about ten minutes outside waiting for Jarred to appear, anger causing all my arteries to pulse unusually. I cannot call him because, surprise, surprise, his phone is off! I cannot go in because I am in my pyjamas. I am on the verge of an embolism when he appears at the gate, glass in hand. I am irritated. I am tired. I tell him to throw the drink out. His friend then proceeds to vomit next to my car. I am petrified. He cannot puke in my car. He sits in the front, window wound down and proceeds to tell me, in a very elevated tone, how much he loves me and what a good person I am. I am almost deaf when we reach home. I flop into bed at 1.30 in the morning.
Sunday – wonderful Sunday. I get up late. I go to breakfast with my friends. Have a wonderful Pina Colada (spelling) and then head home. I must go shopping for my friend’s present, but decide to go with him so he can choose it. Then we see a movie. I am relaxed for the first time in a week! He drops me at home. I iron the load of washing on the line and put on another load. The older boys are home and have toast, biscuits and dips for supper. This is my day, this is my moment, this is my time! I am tired. I am relaxed and I must preserve the last iota of strength that I have to begin this routine all over again!
The conclusion of this pitiful but ultimately fulfilling tale – : I am tired, I am stressed but hey I do these things for the people that I love. I love and am loved and nothing is too much – although it sometimes seems that way.
And Monday I want to start gym again! Wish me luck!
Karen Dosw
http://www.articlesbase.com/non-fiction-articles/a-week-in-the-life-of-the-single-working-mother-588052.html
Stress and the Negative Effects it Has on Building Muscle
One of the most useful definitions of stress is as follows: Stress is an internal process that occurs when a person is faced with a demand that is perceived to exceed the resources available to effectively respond to it, and where failure to effectively deal with the demand has important undesirable consequences. In other words, stress is experienced when there is an awareness of a substantial imbalance between demand and capability, under conditions where failure to meet the demand is perceived to have unwanted consequences.
Strain is the negative effects of stress. Strain may appear as fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, medical and physical problems, insomnia, depression, anxiety, over eating, drug and alcohol abuse, risk taking, or diminished functioning, to name a few of the possibilities. Stress can be positive and negative. On the positive side it alerts us to a threat and increases our level of arousal and activation which can help us be more effective in coping with the threat. It is mismanaged stress or an over-abundance of stress which causes strain and can be devastating for the person or the system.
Stress and health are closely linked. It is well known that stress, either quick or constant, can induce risky body-mind disorders. Research shows that in certain individuals stress does contribute to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and other cardiac risk factors such as addictions and obesity.
The stress response of the body is meant to protect and support us. When faced with a threat, the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a process known as the “fight or flight” response. The sympathetic nervous system pumps out adrenaline, preparing us for emergency action. Our heart rate and blood flow to the large muscles increase, the blood vessels under the skin constrict to prevent blood loss in case of injury, the pupils dilate so we can see better, and our blood sugar ramps up, giving us an energy boost.
The problem with the stress response is that the more it is activated, the harder it is to shut off. Instead of leveling off once the crisis has passed, your stress hormones, heart rate, and blood pressure remain elevated. With shear stress the body get adopted to the the response, and would not react to even other body metabolism activities, which stunts the growth process. Extended or repeated activation of the stress response takes a heavy toll on the body. The physical wear and tear it causes includes damage to the cardiovascular system and immune system suppression. Stress compromises your ability to fight off disease and infection, makes it difficult to conceive a baby, and stunts growth in children. It can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to everyday pressures and mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. And, of course, the stress of living with a debilitating disease or disorder just adds to the problem.
Recent research suggests that anywhere from two-thirds to 90 percent of illness is stress-related.
Chris DiCicco
http://www.articlesbase.com/wellness-articles/stress-and-the-negative-effects-it-has-on-building-muscle-136114.html
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