Beginning Practice for Loving-Kindness.
This can be practiced sitting with a erect posture, or lying down (if you are not sleeping at the time). Many people think giving Metta to oneself is selfish, but it is not ! They think that it is selfish because they misunderstand what is really being done and the mental state involved. Actually it is a sincere and an unselfish ambition to progress onwards in the path toward happiness with oneself and with others. “The one practicing Loving-kindness Meditation recites not just the words in the mind, but sincerely makes it a high priority and ambition to fully understand the complete meaning of Metta, thus enabling oneself to live a life of loving-kindness toward oneself and others. It involves patience and empathy, and selflessness in thought, word, and deed, first toward oneself and then toward others !
Arousing Metta from within yourself. The first-fruits of Metta is loving oneself through self-acceptance and non-judging. This will enable you to see your true virtues and good qualities: such as mercy, compassion, patience, goodwill, empathy, understanding, self-confidence and intelligence – to name a few.
The near cause of Metta is the lovable person or being. Therefore we have to see the favourable aspect of the person or the being. When Metta arises from within you it must be sincere and come from the depth of one’s heart(mind/thought-life/emotions). It should be encouraged to flow abundantly and freely without inhibition. There is nothing wrong with giving Metta = the non-critical, non-judging, acceptance, tolerance, and LovingKindness to others, only “it is to be given in wisdom and guarded against attachment.” When Metta arises from within, one enables and urges it on with the use of four aspirations/mental affirmations: 1) May he or she be free from enmity and danger. This refers to enmity within/negative Kammic/reaping what has been sown; also catastrophies and accidents. Loving-kindness meditative aspiration might be, “May he or she have, receive much Loving-kindness, goodwill and may he or she be safe.” (2) May he or she be free from mental suffering. Mental suffering refers to mental anguish, frustrations, irritations, impatience, despair, worries & anxieties, depressions, fears, phobias & all mental/emotional disorders, and all that is present to no end, as well as the unsatisfactoriness of conditioned existence. “May he or she have peace and maintain a healthy attitude.” (3) May he or she be free from physical suffering. Physical suffering includes all forms of physical discomfort, ill-nesses, disease{dis-ease, as well], all ailments, and all incompleteness. A good aspiration during lovingkindness meditation might be “May he or she be healthy and strong” (4) May he or she take care of himself or herself happily. This means that we desire him or her to be able to carry out all the activities in his or her life and maintenance of life such as waking up, eating, caring for his or her livelihood, caring for the children, spouse, house, work, peacefully – without stress and worries, and sleeping peacefully as well. During Metta Meditation you might say in your mind, “May he or she not experience anxieties and obstacles while taking care of him or herself, family, and while at work.” The principle is that we make each aspiration we do so “With Metta (lovingkindness, friendliness, and goodwill)!!” This will arouse more Metta to arise from within us, in order to work through us toward ourselves and others in life !!
Too many positive aspirations/mental affirmations for the beginner during loving-kindness Meditation might not bring rise to increased Cognitive Thinking, and Concentration, so keep it simple (four aspirations/mental affirmations is good to start with). The goal is bringing goodwill toward others, everything else, the benefits that arise from this process, such as bringing forth patience, helping us to live a life of Metta(lovingkindnes, forgiveness, goodwill, tolerance), increased cognitive thinking, peace, etc. are all secondary, but will come about as one practices Loving-Kindness Meditation daily.