Painful Memories? Are You Suffering from Past Childhood Abuse?

As a psychologist and counselor in Cary, Illinois, I find that there can be up to 22 warning signs that indicate you are suffering now from the trauma of past childhood abuse.

First, what are these signs?

1.Exposure to serious physical, emotional or sexual mistreatment as a child

2.Memories of parents who were physically or emotionally neglectful resulting from their chemical dependency, chronic absenteeism, over-reactive tempers etc.

3.Childhood characterized by chaos, frequent moves, abusive spousal partners, frequent substitute caretakers, too many step-siblings etc.

4.Memories of emotionally repressive parents

5. Memories of parents or parental figures who were rigid, perfectionistic, demeaning, hypercritical, fanatically religious, substance abusers and/or threatening

6. Childhood memories associated with irrational fears, suppressed rage, low self-esteem, depression, identity conflicts etc.

7. The use of maladaptive coping mechanisms such as, multiple personality states, psychogenic fugue, amnesia, trance states and/or depersonalization

8. Avoidance of discussion associated with the traumatic event

9. Inability to recall important aspects of the abuse

10. Feelings of detachment or dissociation

11. Inability to experience a full range of emotions normally

12. Saturation with an angry or pessimistic attitude

13. Sleep and/or dream disturbances

14. Chronic irritability

15. Concentration impairment

16. Inexplicable pervasive worry

17. Short temper

18. Feelings of depression or despair

19. Abuse of alcohol or drugs

20 Transient or fleeting suicidal thoughts

21. Chronic conflict in relationships

22. Difficulty in functioning normally because of free-floating anxiety

If you experience any of these symptoms, it would behoove you to seek therapy or counseling.

But what will your counseling accomplish? How will it benefit you?

1.It should reduce the dysfunctional impact that the abuse has on your life.

2.You will be able to implement effective coping skills to fulfill normal responsibilities with less discomfort and begin to participate constructively in relationships.

3.You will be able to remember instances of the abuse without being overwhelmed by anger and anxiety.

4.You will be able to reduce the escape and denial behaviors prevalent in your everyday life and begin to implement constructive behaviors that promote healing and normal living

5. You will be able to fall asleep faster and not be awakened by disturbing dreams of instances of the abuse.

6. You will be able to replace negative, pessimistic thinking with constructive, self-enhancing and more optimistic thinking processes.

7. You will be able to implement anger control techniques to subdue your irritation and anger.

8. You will be able to eliminate any of your abuse of mind-altering substances

9. You will be able to implement relaxation training as a coping mechanism for the tension, stress and anxiety relating to your childhood pain.

10. You will be able to significantly reduce the resentment and futility which saturates your thinking about the past.

11. You will start seeing the future as hopeful and positive rather than bleak and depressing

12. Upon repeated re-telling about your dysfunctional past you will be able to do so increasingly with gradually reduced anxiety

13. You will start feeling a reduction in any of your vindictive feelings associated with the past. You will be able to use relaxation and positive imagery to reduce any anxiety or sleep problems related to the trauma

14. You will be able to identify and reduce any catastrophic expectations or headaches caused by the trauma

15. You should be able to approach previously avoided situations with much less stress.

16. You should have a thorough understanding of the results of abuse and be able to progressively reduce the negative impact of any relapses.

Dr Mike Shery
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/painful-memories-are-you-suffering-from-past-childhood-abuse-56895.html

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Comments

4 Comments on Painful Memories? Are You Suffering from Past Childhood Abuse?

  1. Sean on Tue, 2nd Mar 2010 2:58 am
  2. Maybe you could create you own family? Meet adults who can be great role models for your son. As a man who grew up surrounded by lots of family, but no role models, I can tell you that blood doesn’t count for much compared with integrity and value.
    References :

  3. k.c. on Tue, 2nd Mar 2010 3:00 am
  4. It’s normal. I wouldn’t want the same. I love my mother too, me and her was never really close, so it would be akward for me too be living near her.
    References :

  5. mickey123 on Tue, 2nd Mar 2010 3:02 am
  6. Wow, I grew up in a similar type of home. My family and relatives were all dysfunctional. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family. I can tell you have overcome your past and broken the dysfunctional cycle and that is a good thing. No your not wrong, why would you even want to consider exposing your son to such abuse. When he gets older, be honest with him about your past and I am sure he will understand. It’s the family secrete that hurts us the most. Enjoy your life, you worked hard to make it a happy one. Children from abusive homes seldom recover and find happiness. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
    References :
    Personal experience.

  7. mom1984 on Tue, 2nd Mar 2010 10:56 am
  8. about childhood past ( long)?
    Hi everyone,
    I’m a 25 year old married female with a 6 year old child. I’ve been living on my own with my husband and child for 5 years now. We live 3,000 miles away from my hometown due to my husband being in the navy. Well within the year we will have the opportunity to get stationed about an hour from my childhood home. Well my question is I just don’t wanna go back at all. Where we are now is no family but,I have a peaceful life out here. My mom wants me to come back and I just feel so bad because my son barley ever gets to see my family. I only went back once to visit and I hated it. I’ve just didn’t have the best childhood. My mom and dad suffer mental illness. I grew up with my mom being sick. Dad being sick and just a drunk. Growing up My mom and dad were divorced. My dad family never talked to us because they were prejudiced and hated the fact he married a black women . Instead they took it out on us and never included us in there family My mom family are just a bunch a fake people who like to hide everything. I’ve been sexually abused (not by my dad or mom). I’ve also been mentally abused. I know this sounds crazy I do miss my family but,I would be just fine if I didn’t see them. I do talk to my mom everyday and do miss her but,I just don’t wanna be near them. Am I wrong for feeling like this. I just don’t want my son to grow up hating me for not being around family. I’ve worked so hard giving my son the almost perfect life. I’m giving him the life I dreamed of. I Just don’t want to go back to those painful memories. Also please don’t think I want attention for this or I am complaining alot. I just want to know is what I feel is normal. Again I don’t want my son hating me for this when he gets older for only just having my husband andI around and not family. Please help me. I really appreciate your answers in advance.

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