Program Your Mind to Your Advantage

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Filed under: Coping and Overcoming Anxiety 

Most of the time when you fail or experience pain and depression due to frustrating events in your life, you are inclined to blame external elements or even other people for your misfortunes. Although it happens that you encounter trouble caused by things beyond and outside of yourself, there are also certain aspects in your personage you tend to overlook, which eventually gave way to such dismal outcomes.

Changing how you think is changing yourself. Easier said than done. In actuality, altering your perception of things and the world at large is nowhere near as easy as just mouthing the words to yourself. The beliefs you hold in your mind are lifelong products of your experiences and influences, strengthened and produced since your childhood days. Referred to as “core beliefs”, these staunch ideas are inherent to each one of us, and they play a crucial role determining the course our lives would take.

Since they are deeply ingrained into your psyche, you cannot expect to change or replace them overnight. The time it took for them take root into your subconscious has given them a firm hold, which implies that conscious effort, strong will, and the desire to change are necessitated on your part. To your advantage, managing to change your pessimistic or illogical core beliefs to positive, beneficial ones would strengthen your sense of self and boost your self-esteem. In effect, you stand a better chance against surviving pain and overcoming depression and anxiety should you encounter the force of life’s difficulties.

To start you off, here are some common negative core beliefs and the suggested positive ones you can use to take their place.

  • Winning and success are inborn traits.

Given that each one of us is endowed with inherent potentials to help us succeed, not tapping into them and using them incorrectly would definitely mark us for certain failure.

Suggested replacement: Winning and success are dependent on my will to win and succeed.

  • I am who others think I am.

Huge mistake. The way you see yourself is the image you project to others, which in turn is reflected back to you. Determining the kind of person you want to be is dependent entirely on your own will and what kind of person you think yourself to be.

Suggested replacement: I am the best person I could possibly be.

  • Difficulty would only bring pain.

Although facing hardships is not a walk in the park, allowing yourself to just focus on their negative aspect and resigning yourself to the perimeters of your comfort zone for the rest of your life would be detrimental to no one else but yourself. Remember: In order to extract the juice of an orange, it has to be squeezed first. Like you, you would not realize the apex of your capacity if you steer clear from all sorts of difficulty.

Suggested replacement: Overcoming difficulty would bring out the best in me.

  • I am just as good as everybody else.

Being one with the crowd does have its advantage: mediocrity and a free ticket for not achieving self-fulfillment. Studies conducted at Harvard University have confirmed that every person has at least one ingenious trait, meaning there has to be one area in life where each of us can excel. But the challenge lies with determining what this area is. To do so requires courage to defy our self-consciousness by realizing our true potentials.

Suggested replacement: I am as excellent as I choose myself to be.

 

Felicity Maris Modesto
http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/program-your-mind-to-your-advantage-715903.html

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Comments

13 Comments on Program Your Mind to Your Advantage

  1. as400_guru on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:02 pm

    2. If you cannot afford to have children, DON’T GET PREGNANT. Why should I pay for someone else’s kid?
    References :

  2. lawyermama on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:04 pm

    3. I think the badness of people "stealing" services without paying taxes is outweighed by the good of healthy babies being born with the benefit of prenatal care. If the mothers dont’ get care during pregnancy it makes for sicker babies, which ultimately cost the system more.
    Aside from that, I got pregnant during my last semester in college. I had quit my full-time job to finish school, and part time had no benefits. I was on medicaid for my son. I finished school and now I am a lawyer. I guess you would say I don’t count but I pay taxes now and I’m sure there are a lot of people out there like me.
    References :

  3. Lisa on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:06 pm

    4. First of all, if everyone was to wait until they were finacially stable to have babies then they would never have any!!!! Babies are expensive no matter how much money you make. Thats just a fact of life.

    And to answer your question….no i dont really think its cool that people who just sit around and do nothing can apply for all this help and get by. I wad on medicaid during my pregnancy but I worked 40+ hours a week so I figure I made for my own medicaid with my own taxes. I dont understand why people who can work dont. Even if you have to work in a clothing store or in fast food, there are always jobs out there. No they might not pay a lot but nothing feels better then self accomplishment.
    References :

  4. theprincessdanie on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:08 pm

    5. I’m on medicaid and I work (which means that I pay taxes). My job does not offer medical insurance, which is why I’m on medicaid. I wouldnt feel right not working while on medicaid. I can not be one of those women who are perfectly capable of getting a job but are too d@mn lazy to get one so they mooch off the government.
    References :

  5. Lindsey on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:10 pm

    6. I’m with you. I am happy to pay taxes for people who need help–but for people who are just abusing the system I don’t think that is right. I had to use Medicaid for maybe the first doctor’s appointment I went to because my insurance hadn’t gone through yet. I made a point to get off it fast because I didn’t WANT to be on it. My child was a surprise so I still hadn’t gotten myself insured (I know that was stupid). The Medicaid would come in faster then my own insurance. I was already close to four months into my pregnancy when I found out–so it was important for me to go to the doctors. It took me one day to get presumptive eligibility (Medicaid but not the card) but took me a month or longer to get my own insurance. Of course I applied for them both on the same day but I didn’t want to wait until I was in my third trimester to have my first doctor’s appointment. It’s there for help not for abuse. I don’t understand why people TRY to get pregnant knowing they will need government assistance. It really gets to me. Why would a person WANT to have Medicaid? As for people who think it’s their right because they pay taxes–it’s not. That’s cheating the system and I think it’s wrong. I was never proud to say "I’m on assistance." It’s there for HELP and when you go on it just because it is there that is ABUSE!
    References :

  6. Donna L on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:12 pm

    7. i think that you are going to spend more on your nine months of care than you will the first two or three years of your child’s life, so "affording it" comments are kind of out of the question. However, i think that some people take advantage of that situation, and that isn’t appropriate. Now, granted, there are those who work and still can’t get insurance (read..previous condition. even depression can keep you from getting really good, affordable healthcare. and there are still companies who do not provide insurance) so it kind of sucks for them.
    and some (albeit dubious) kudos to you for having the unmitigated temerity to approach such a subject!
    References :

  7. singlebbaby on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:14 pm

    8. I am pregnant for my 3rd time and every time I use medicaid, I always said if it’s free use it. The only times I even use it is when I’m pregnant, but I work until I’m about 6 months and then when I am not pregnant anymore I will keep my children on it for awhile but take myself off it, I think if you’ve ever paid taxes you should be able to take advantage of everything that is offered to you. I’m not a user but it’s all free why not take advantage of it, there are other people out there that take advantage of it then you think, like stay on it for there whole life just keep having kids so they can have all those things offered to them those kind of people make me sick. Well Good Luck during pregnancy!
    References :

  8. shaiinfomed on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:16 pm

    9. I think you have a point to a certain degree. I myself have used medicaid but my husband has paid more than his share of taxes. I still have to use medicaid because my children are disabled. I am not able to work due to going to appointments but I did not want to feel useless so I decided to start a company advocating for disabled persons and helping people to understand their medical issues as well as helping them with their insurances issues. However I do feel that all children have a right to good healthcare regardless of whether or not the parents work. But I do feel that the parents should be working and contributing to society. Being lazy is what hikes taxes that working people have to pay. I also think that parents in my situation should turn their tragedy into triumph and start a business helping others in their same situation. This is what I did and I have a lot of professionals on board with what I am doing. Another thing I think is that we need to motivate those individuals that don’t work to go out and get work, go to school, or start a company. You should report people taking advantage of the system because that is not right.
    References :

  9. Dr. PHILlis (in training) on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:18 pm

    10. I just responded to someone saying that people need to prove their financial status in order to have children. There is no one that knows all the taxes they pay goes… only thing is like a paycheck stub.. But what about when you pay tax at the store or wherever? I know the majority of the money is going in a politician’s pocket for their frills because you hear about it all in the news of how they mistreat their financial advantages. So it kills me when people say they don’t want their tax dollars going here or there. Your tax dollars are inevitable and they’re gonna be allocated to wherever. And the money spend on medicaid ain’t even that much even going to medicaid! And it’s funny because if you work and you on medicaid, you’re not getting it for free!!! I was working still and I got medicaid and they were still taking that tax out of my paycheck so where was the free coming from? Medicaid is an okay program because it makes sure you have access to suitable healthcare and your costs are covered for your delivery. And this is my thing: If anyone feels that they’re really paying directly for anyone to have this and that. just pick a person and need and give it directly to them!! And I wanna know the "names" you are talking about because I hope you’re not talking about a certain group of people. There’s white, black, mexican, asians, everybody is getting support on those programs. And what about social security? What happens if you go broke and you’re elderly and you didn’t have noooo ss to fall back on at all? What would you do? So quit thinking that you have to be sitting on your a*s*s to be getting assistance. If you doing your math correctly you might as well be because the poverty like is like 17,000.. and a salary job starts at 25,000… so do the math.. You can still work and be in poverty. And the people in poverty aren’t tax exempt, because they gotta still pay taxes too!! So who are all you paying for!!! Lol
    References :

  10. staqk3 on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:20 pm

    11. OK medicaid is a social program and yes it is paid by our taxes. unexpected pregnancy does happen. medicaid is there for the benefit of the unborn child, the mother is just around for the ride. It makes me mad too that some people abuse the system. but should we punish the innocent for the actions of their parent? what kind of society would we live in if we let that happen? If by taking care of the mother improves the health and well being of an infant im all for it, but at the same time i would require that both parents be forced to repay what they have taken from the system.
    References :

  11. Vincent's♄Mommy on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:22 pm

    12. Not everyone plans to have kids…sometimes things happen, and women end up pregnant…rather than get an abortion, they decide to go on Medicare, or MediCal, and get help that way. That is not my situation, but I know people who have done that. As long as they have a job, I don’t see a problem with it.

    My situation is this…I work full time, so does my fiance (actually he works 2 jobs). We pay taxes, we both have cars we bought ourselves, we have a nice 3 bedroom place, but we still needed a little help…nothing wrong with that! I’m on MediCal here in CA…and they are paying for all of our pregnancy costs.

    I think that if you need a little help (as long as you have a job) you should be able to use the state help…what I don’t like is when women keep having kids (3, 4, 5 even 6 kids) and stay on it, and won’t get a job and even put forth an effort to try and make money to take care of their family…that does bug me!
    References :
    31 weeks pregnant with our first :)

  12. angiewzhere on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 3:24 pm

    13. my husband switched jobs a few months ago and shortly after i found out i was pregnant. because he was at a new job i had to get on medicaid until his insurance kicks in.we make pretty good money but when you add in the cost of going to a doctor once a month and all the prescriptions im on and all of the blood tests and ultrasounds and so on it just isnt possible for us to pay for it and still pay our bills and buy food.also my husband not only pays taxes but because of how much he makes we pay monthly for medicaid and have copays.i think as long as it is being used for the health of a child then who cares.if anyone has a problem with helping others in need then they really need to change their values and morals.i never once think that i shouldnt have to pay taxes to medicaid.you should think of it as helping people who are in need.not only that youre helping children who are in need.the children that will someday pay taxes that will pay your social security!!!!!!!!
    References :

  13. justwondering on Sat, 28th Nov 2009 11:00 pm

    14. What are your thoughts about Medicaid use during pregnancy?
    Personally I think if you pay taxes then you have every right to use the programs offered when you need them, but then you have stupid people, and I won’t say any names, who take advantage of the situation. I don’t mind paying taxes so that people who fall on hard times will be able to provide for their families or for women who get pregnant unexpectedly, but I feel like it should only be available to those who PAY TAXES as well. If they’re not paying for it isn’t that in the same catagory as stealing from the rest of us? It makes me so angry that some (not many but a few) women on here don’t take any initiative to help themselves but expect those of us who work to pay for their children…….What do you guys think?
    My point is not that people use the programs, I think they’re great to have, but when people expect them and do nothing in return to help "payback" what was given I just feel like I’m helping to pay for a deadbeat parent and it’s wrong. Every situation is different, but I believe that if you’re able to work then you should, you should doing as much as you can on your own before turning to such programs. I would never say do away with them, I used Medicaid myself during my first pregnancy, I worked more than a full time job but I didnt’ have the option of insurance, and kids are expensive, I completely agree. I just don’t understand why we give handouts to those who aren’t even attempting to help themselves. It’s like a license to have 10 kids and never get a job.
    Okay Dr. PHILis I think you raise several good points. First, you don’t have to be sitting on your butt to be getting assistance, I never said that if you had read my post you would have noticed that. I also strongly believe in these programs for those who need them, not for those who expect to get them. Second, if you can afford to buy frivilous things and pay taxes on that, then you obviously have a job, otherwise that wouldn’t be an issue. Third, Medicaid is NOT free to those of us who pay into it. I never said i didnt’ want my tax dollars going into this program, I do! My point is that people take advantage of the programs and that sucks all the way around for the rest of us. I’m not financially supporting one person, but just like everyone who works, we are supporting someone who isn’t trying to better themselves. And finally, I never once even indicated that I was talking about any racial or ethnic group in way way shape or form. I’m not discriminating against anyone!

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