Overcome Shyness and Change Your Life
Shyness is sometimes mistakenly referred to as a social phobia. Depending on the degree of introversion they have, some people may actually find that it can be debilitating, depriving them of a healthy social life. It not only affects their relationships, it also affects their careers, keeping people from performing at their best and making use of opportunities that come their way.
Overcoming shyness is a process and will take time. But each step you make will reward you by boosting your confidence level and making you a better person who is self-assured and can take on anything thrown your way. Here’s how:
1. Figure out the source of your shyness. You might find that certain situations trigger your shyness and cause you to fold onto yourself and allow your worries and anxieties to overcome you. Once you recognize these situations, you can then find ways to handle them more effectively.
For example, you might feel most shy during social parties but don’t feel the same way during family affairs or office occasions. It may be that your shyness is brought about by stranger anxiety, considering that you only feel shy around people you don’t know. Once you recognize this, you can then adjust yourself to the situation accordingly.
2. Realize that it’s perfectly natural to feel shy sometimes. You can’t be forward and overly confident in every situation. You will always find that there are times when you feel a little hesitant and tongue-tied, especially if something is new and unfamiliar. It’s perfectly all right to feel shy when you’re meeting someone new or when you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before.
3. Don’t berate yourself for being shy. Overcoming shyness means affirming yourself as an individual and as a person. If you feel shy, don’t tell yourself that you’re stupid and that you’ll never amount to anything. More negative thoughts will fabricate negative thoughts. The last thing you want to do is to become your own worst critic.
Instead, accept that you are shy but that you are working towards overcoming it and becoming a more confident person. By telling yourself it’s all right and that you’re taking positive steps to improve your condition, you unburden yourself.
4. Change your posture. Believe it or not, actually changing the way you stand and walk can do a lot to overcoming shyness. Slouching and keeping your chin close to your chest will only make other people look at you more, increasing your self-consciousness and anxiety.
Keep your chin up, your shoulders level, your stomach tucked in, your arms a little loose and your legs relaxed. Breathe in heavily and exhale slowly several times to calm yourself. Do this before doing anything such as public speaking, entering a party, speaking to someone, etc. Breathing in allows you to set a natural, calm rhythm that helps you walk steadily and speak in your natural voice.
5. Prepare. If you’re going to a party and not know a single soul there, you might as well find out something about them. If not their names, find out what they do, what the crowd’s general interests are and what they will be like. Knowing what you’re getting into sheds half of the shyness factor and makes you feel more confident.
Keep a mental list of things that you can use during conversations. Neutral topics are a good start and do not put pressure on you or to anyone to produce information or expert opinion. You’ll feel more at ease if you have something to contribute to the conversation.
6. Make small steps towards overcoming your shyness. You can’t expect to live the rest of your life cooped up in some small part of your little universe hoping for a miracle to happen. Even Cinderella had to step out of her glass slipper in order to find a new and rewarding life. You can never overcome shyness if you don’t go out there and interact with people.
Start small. Smile at the girl behind the counter of the perfume shop, say hi to the teller at the bank, nod to someone who lives in your building. If they acknowledge your greeting, good for them. If they don’t, it only shows their lack of manners.
7. Take risks. After you’ve known the feeling of taking little risks, it’s probably time to take bigger risks. Change is always scary but isn’t that what you want? Do something you’ve never done before like eating out alone, going on trips by yourself, volunteering for a task, taking lead in a group. You’ll be surprised at how easy it will be once you’ve gotten started.
8. Acknowledge that it’s not about you. Self-conscious behavior stems from the belief that you are the focal point of people’s attentions when in fact they have other things in mind. Practice shifting your focus to other people and develop an interest in them.
By keeping the spotlight focused on someone else, you keep attention away from yourself. If you do this on occasions when you feel particularly shy, you will overcome the feeling of being concentrated on. Instead, you learn to socialize effectively and enjoy yourself.
9. Affirm! Scott Adams (creator of ‘Dilbert’) uses affirmation to strengthen his resolve. Even life coach guru Brian Tracy encourages people to affirm themselves. Affirmation is the closest thing you can get to a magic potion in overcoming your shyness. It will not transform you overnight but it can massage your subconscious into focusing on your assets and building your confidence.
10. Practice. From your posture to your voice to the way you introduce yourself, techniques for overcoming shyness should be practiced to be perfected. By practicing them, you slowly integrate them into your thinking and mannerisms. This makes you feel that they’ve always been a natural process with you. As you shed your shyness little by little, you will find small but measurable improvements that boost your self-assurance.
Bill Urell
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/overcome-shyness-and-change-your-life-134672.html
The Social Syndrome: Social Anxiety Disorder
Meeting people , partying around , catching up for coffee, luncheons, dinner dates, friends get together, house warming parties, weddings, birthdays, can be just recognized as different social event , but these are the little things that spice up anyone’s life. Just imagine a whole week full of just the monotonous routine without any such break, where can just let lose and enjoy and eat, drink, talk and be merry. These occasions and any other social gathering just rejuvenates life and keeps us going for unending times. But that is not the case with everyone. It is a very surprising fact that there are people who avoid social gatherings and hat meeting people. This is not because they are too dedicated to their work or think such gatherings are just a waste of time but because social gatherings make them anxious and uncomfortable. Uncomfortable and anxiousness due to social gathering, unbelievable is it not? But it is absolutely true. People who experience anxiety when they in a social gathering and react in the most unexpected manner are said to be suffering form social anxiety disorder. This condition is also known as social phobia and can be associated with a psychological disorder.
Reasons and symptoms of the syndrome
People suffering from social anxiety disorder just hate to be at social events. This is because they are very self conscious and keep thinking that all the people around them are evaluating their each and every move. They think less of themselves and have a feeling that all the people are better off. In one word it can be said that these are the people who suffer from a case of extreme inferiority complex. People suffering form this disorder often do not attend social gatherings and stay out of touch of others around them. Moreover, this kind of behavior has a negative impact on their social, working and personal life. They are not the people who are introverts or are shy. They are a complete different set who are very self-conscious. The reason for social anxiety disorder may arise from some other phobia. Say a person has the fear of public speaking or phobia of meeting people then he slowly develops the social anxiety disorder. This is basically because they have a feeling that their actions will bring embarrassment to them and they will become a laughing stock. The symptoms of social anxiety disorder include sweating, nervousness, and shivering, stammering, nausea and if the case is an extreme a panic attack cannot be ruled out. These are a group of people who actually find communicating with others very difficult and cumbersome. This disorder is generally developed in childhood or at the teen age and may last life long, some people do not even realize that they suffer from any such disorder and blame it on their basic nature.
Cure and conclusion
Social anxiety disorder is perfectly curable with medication and therapies and sometimes a combination of both. It depends on the condition of the patient as to what kind of treatment the doctor prescribes for him. Pharmacotherapeutic agents are given to people suffering from this disorder and can be taken over a long period of time. Cognitive behavioral theory is also used to treat patients of this disorder. Antidepressants are also given to the patients. The results are positive without any side effect. Apart form all this a lot of will power and support from the near ones is also required. It can be overcome with a little hard work, proper medication and persistence from the patience.
Andrew Green
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/the-social-syndrome-social-anxiety-disorder-71825.html
Real and Permanent Cure for Social Phobia
I’m sure you’ve heard the news already: it’s all over the blogosphere since BCC Health first broke the news. Yeah, this is about that nasal spray you sniff – and your social phobia is gone!
If you haven’t heard about this “latest and greatest” social anxiety cure yet, let me regurgitate the news in brief. It all started when scientists from Zurich University found that people who inhaled the hormone called oxytocin continued to trust strangers even after they were cheated on. That discovery, they say, could lead to future treatments for social phobia. It didn’t take long for a long-sales-letter type websites to appear selling the new wonder drug:
oxytocin.
It has been called “the love hormone“, “the cuddle chemical”, “the mind reading hormone” and “the trust drug”.
And for a reason.
It’s the chemical that makes you feel what you’re feeling during an ******. It is also produced during labor and it’s responsible for the unique and unbreakable mother-child bond. When your brain is releasing oxytocin, you feel loved, relaxed and more open to trust – not only friends and lovers, but also strangers.
The Zurich University’s study has found that oxytocin has a very specific effect in social situations: it seems to diminish fears. Lead researcher Dr Thomas Baumgartner thinks that a lack of oxytocin is at least one of the causes for the fear experienced by social phobics.
Brain scans show that oxytocin can lower activity in the amygdala – a region of brain that is responsible for feelings of fear and apprehension – and which is overactive in social phobics. So, yes – it’s true: a sniff of oxytocin could improve readiness to engage in social interactions for people who suffer from social anxiety disorder by simply making them less fearful.
Then again, there are other things you can sniff to increase your confidence in social situations… Lots and lots of people who don’t have social phobia consume alcohol for the same reason.
The problem is, such substances are indiscriminate in their effects: uncritical trust can be just as damaging as irrational avoidance.
Will this new drug heal us or kill us…?
By: anita bern (Get FREE Anxiety Treatment)
About the Author:
Anita Bern is writing about her experiences with social phobia disorder at Social phobia anxiety blog.
Treatment for Phobias
A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder. It is a strong, irrational fear of something that poses little or no actual danger. A phobia is a constant, extreme or irrational fear of an animal, object, place or situation that wouldn’t normally worry the majority of people. A phobia is when you have an overwhelming need to avoid any contact with the specific cause of the anxiety or fear. Each year, 7.8% of American adults suffer from a phobia. phobias were the most common mental illness among women in all age groups and the second most common illness among men older than 25.
In fact, phobias are the most common psychological disorder women and the second most common disorder among men over 25. Phobias are divided into two types. Simple phobias type is about a single object, situation, or activity. Complex Phobias involves several anxieties, including fear of entering shops, crowds, and public places, or of travelling in trains, buses, or planes. Social phobia is another complex phobia. Social phobia is a fear of social e.g. a wedding, or performance situations e.g. public speaking. 1 to 2 % of men and women have a social phobia and it is usually linked to low self-esteem and fear of criticism.
Many things and situations can cause anxiety, nervousness or fright. Anxiety disorders rarely disappear and may grow worse without appropriate treatment. Effective treatments are available that may help you to keep your fear in check. Behavioral therapy focuses on changing specific actions and uses several techniques to decreases or stop unwanted behavior. Exposure therapy involves starting to confront the fear and stopping avoiding it. The best treatment for phobia is a psychological treatment called cognitive behavioural therapy. Medication may be used according to individual need and symptoms.
It is sometimes used in addition to psychological therapy. Antidepressants can be effective for severe social phobia. Antidepressants or tranquillisers (benzodiazepines) may be recommended for agoraphobia. Some doctors may prescribe medicines called benzodiazepines (such as diazepam, also known as Valium) to ease symptoms in the initial stages of a psychological programme. However, these can only be taken for short periods because they can lead to dependence. Other drugs, called beta-blockers, are sometimes used to reduce the symptoms of anxiety and have also been used together with psychological treatment programmes.
By: Juliet Cohen (Anxiety Treatment eBook – FREE)
About the Author:
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